Oh Yeah
by OTHgrl618
Summary: Hailey and Jake have a baby together -Comedy
1. Crazy Hailey

One Tree Hill:  
  
Summary: Haley wants a boyfriend badly to have sex with for the first time Narrated by Haley  
  
Chapter 1 (Lucas and Brooke are walking down the halls of Tree Hill High hand in hand when Haley sees them)  
  
I was walking down the hall on my way to the tutoring room when I see Brooke and Lucas walking down the hall holding hands so I decided to walk up to them.  
  
"Hey guys" I said . "Hey tutor girl" "Hey Hales". "Luke can you come over after school to my place I need help with my report on that Steinbeck book and I was wondering if you can help me.  
  
"Oh I would but me and Brooke already planned to go to my house and have sex a lot" Lucas replied meanly  
  
"Hell yeah I gunna get so horny tonight" Brooke added on rudely  
  
"Well okay I guess I will go fuck myself then" I answered back embarrassed  
  
"You do that" Luke said  
  
Right after school I ran home and jumped on my bed and started crying hysterically I was bored so I decided to hump my poster of eminem. Man it felt good! But I couldn't help thinking about how Lucas and Brooke were at his house having sex man I wish I have a sex partner all I had was a poster. 


	2. Looking For A Guy

Chapter 2: looking for a guy

Hailey's alarm rang and the bright sunlight shined into Hailey's eyes and  
she awoke, and saw Lucas sitting at her computer typing.

Hailey: What are you doing here?  
  
Lucas: Oh good morning my computer broke down and I was feeling pretty  
horny so I wanna look at porn sites really bad. I hope you don't mind.  
  
Hailey: (sarcastically) Oh no Luke I don't mind at all you just come over  
my house to see porn sites but not me no I don't mind at all (now  
screaming) WELL YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST WENT TO BROOKE'S HOUSE TO DO THAT! MAYBE YOU GUYS COULD LOOK AT PORN TOGETHER!!!  
  
Lucas: Wow Hailey I didn't even think of that thanks! (He gets up from her  
chair and leaves)

Hailey sits on the chair and starts breaking down with tears feeling very  
lonely.Talking to herself Oh well I'm a loser I might as well just get ready for  
school

She takes a shower and puts on a jean mini- skirt and a little red tube  
top with red flip flops

Thinking Wow I look so sexy no guy will turn me down today  
As she is walking to school she runs into Jake walking to school also

Hailey: Hey Jake  
  
Jake: Hey hot stuff you look so damn sexy today Hailey  
Hailey: I know  
  
Jake: hey after school why don't you come to my house , my parents are  
taking Jenny to the carnival so we'll have the house to ourselves!  
  
Hailey: (filled with excitement) Oh Jake I'd love to

They walk to school hand in hand


	3. TheBathroom

**Chapter 3- The Bathroom**  
  
Hailey walks into her English class  
  
Peyton: Hey hailey  
  
Hailey: Hey (she drops her pen and bends over to pick it up and suddenly...)

RIP – the whole class starts cracking up  
  
Hailey: omg I'm so embarrassed I can't believe I ripped my skirt in front of everyone -she runs to the bathroom-  
  
Hailey: (to herself) Why did I wear under wears with rubber duckies on them today??????????????  
Peyton walks in

Peyton: Hailey come on it's not that big of a deal just wear your gym shorts  
  
Hailey: NO I'm staying in here all day  
  
Peyton: Okay see ya later  
  
-Hailey sits in a faucet and starts singing "Mary Had A Little Lamb"  
  
4 Hours Later- Hailey fell asleep on the floor and just woke up  
  
Hailey: ( thinking to herself) what time is it? (looks at her watch) 1:00 I have math now. Oh I'll just go.  
  
she goes to the classroom-  
  
Brooke: Hey tutor girl you smell like shit  
  
Hailey: I know (takes her seat)  
  
3:00 – They all just got out of school and Hailey sees Jake outside and walks up to him-  
  
Jake: Hey Hailey I heard what happened to you today you must fell so stupid  
  
Hailey: Thanks a lot  
  
Jake: so are you still coming over later  
  
Hailey: Sure I'm just going to go home first and shower  
  
Jake: Thank god because if you weren't I was going to univinte you  
  
They both go home-  
  
_Hey guys it's me Hanan just saying that I dunno is you guys liked this chapter but don't worry the next one will be FUNNY well at least I think so- keep the reviews coming let me know what you think  
LUV YA'Z  
- hanan _


	4. Jake's House

**Chapter 4- Jakes House  
**  
DING DONG- the doorbell  
Jake: coming (opens the door)  
  
Hailey: Hey  
  
Jake: Come on in and we'll watch some t.v.  
  
Hailey: Okay (sits on the couch)  
  
Jake: I'll be right back I am just going to get the drinks  
  
Hailey: Okay  
  
2 Minutes Later-  
  
Jake: Here ( hands her a coke)  
  
Hailey: Thanks

20 minutes later- Jake looks away from the t.v. and to Hailey  
  
Jake: Hailey why don't we go to my rook  
  
Hailey: (getting nervous) Okay

They walk upstairs and Jake sits on his bed and motions Hailey to come  
sit next to him-  
  
Hailey: So what did you get on you science test?  
  
-Jake grabs her boobs and squeezes them and then lays her down on the bed  
and they begin to make out until things starts getting hot and heavy and  
Jake rips her clothes off and she does the same to him  
  
Jake: (panting) Oh yeah this feels good  
  
Hailey: HELL YEAH!  
  
TINKLE TINKLE  
  
Jake: OH MY GOD BITCH YOU FUCKING PEED ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hailey: OMG Jake I am so sorry I didn't mean to I just really had to pee  
  
Jake: Just get the fuck out of my house  
  
Hailey: Okay I'm sorry bye ( She leaves)  
  
Hailey: (thinking) How could I screw up the first time having sex? Why  
the hell did I pee on him I am such a fucking moron  
  
when she gets home she goes into her room and sees Peyton making out  
with Jenny on her bed-  
  
Hailey: Oh my friggin gosh what the hell is going on here?  
  
Peyton: OMG Hailey I had to borrow your bed my dad's home so I figured  
.......  
  
RING RING- the phone  
  
Hailey: (picks up) Hello  
  
Jake: Hey it's me Jake I am just calling to tell you that my mom and dad  
said someone kidnapped Jenny at the carnival so please if you see her  
around or if you think you know who could have taken her please just tell  
me (starts crying) she was my baby girl and I can't imagine her being  
away from me forever  
  
Hailey: Of course Jake  
  
Jake: Thanks bye (hangs up)  
  
Hailey: Okay Peyton just give me Jenny I'll give her back to Jake and I  
won't tell him about this if you just hand her over now  
  
Peyton: Okay but just so you know I love Jenny and I am proposing tonight  
  
Hailey: Peyton get real look at Jenny she's only 9 months I can accept  
that you are a lesbian but please find someone your own age  
  
Peyton: I guess your right (starts crying and runs home)

Hailey walks back to Jakes house with Jenny  
Jake opens the door  
  
Jake: JENNY!!!! ( he grabs her from Hailey) where did you find her?  
  
Hailey: Well um....  
  
Jake: Ya know what you cares as long as she's back with me now  
  
Hailey: Your welcome BYE!  
  
_Hey guys I'm still thinking up some ideas for what should happen next and  
I'll be sure to update soon  
- Hanan_


	5. Hailey's What?

****

Chapter 5- Hailey's What?

Hailey wakes up and runs to the bathroom and pukes

Hailey: (to herself) Oh I feel horrible I hope I'm not pregnant. I mean I am late and I am really natious OMG! I have to go to a doctor

(At the clinic)

Doctor: Well Ms. Jamesmit seems that you are indeed pregnant

Hailey: Oh no! i can't have a baby especially with Jake he hates me!

doctor: Your problem not mine HAHA!

(Hailey leaves and walks to Jake's house and she sees Jake sitting on his porch with Jenny and singing to her)

Jake: Hailey what are you doing here? I mean i'm happy you brought Jenny back to me but why the fuck did you kidnap her in the first place?

Hailey: We need to talk and I didn't take Jenny Peyton did

Jake: Fine you have 10 minutes go

Hailey: Jake I'm pregnant

Jake: SAY WHAT?????

Hailey: I just found out

Jake: Well good for you bitch go have you fucking baby and pee on it

hailey: Jake I told you I'm sorry over and over please forgive me I can't reaisde this aby alone

Jake: I have Jenny one baby is enough but two....

Hailey: JAKE PLEASE you didn't like it when Jenny's mom left you all alone please help me with this abby

Jake: ......... Fine I'll help you with the baby but I still hate you

Hailey: Fine just be there for our abby

Jake: Okay but what's this about Peyton taking Jenny?

Hailey: Oh well you better sit down

Jake: Why what happened?

Hailey: Well when I got home I saw Jenny and Peyton making out on my bed Peyton want to propse to her tonight

Jake: WHAT? I'M GUNNA KILL THAT BITCH!!! SHE BETTER LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

Hailey: Well got to go, I have a doctors appointment next week want to come with me?

Jake: Of course and Hailey I forgive you I was mad you peed on me but I was really mad becauase I thought you took Jenny but now I am mad at Peyton.

(They hug and Hailey leaves)

**_Hey it's Hanan this chapter was just leading up to what happens next IT GETS GOOD lol shout out to LoykaBlack who helps me when I get writers block . Review everyone PLZZZ i love to hear what you think!_**

**_ - HANAN_**


	6. Poor Peyton

**Chapter 6- Poor Peyton  
**  
The next day at basketball practice Jake is in the locker room and he  
pulls out a butcher knife  
  
Jake: (to himself) peyton willwish she never laid eyes on Jenny (leaves  
the locker room)  
  
Peyton bends over to pick up her pom-poms and Jake comes running at her  
with the knife and sticks it in her ass)  
  
Peyton: AAAAAHHHHHHH MY ASS!!!!!!  
  
Jake: Thats what you get bitch don't go near Jenny again!  
  
Brooke: OMG (grabs her cell phone) HELLO 911? my friend has just been  
stabed in the ass come quickly to Tree Hill High  
  
Peyton: (crying) My butt hurts so much!  
  
everyone starts laughing at her except for Brooke- when the hospital  
comes they rush her to the hospital  
  
doctor: she lost alot of blood we're going to have to take the knife out  
and stitch her together  
  
After surgery Peyton is lying butt in the air on her hospital bed and the  
Lucas and Nathan walk in  
  
Lucas: WOW THATS ONE FLAT ASS!  
  
Nathan: wow yeah it did get flat  
  
Peyton: Hey! I can hear you I'm awake  
  
Lucas: Oh sorry  
  
Peyton: It's okay it was true, where's Jake is he in jail  
  
Nathan: No but Brooke is Jake told the judge she did it  
  
Peyton: What? But there were witnesses everyone saw Jake do it  
  
Lucas: Yeah but the judge they had doesn't like Brooke becuase she raped  
him once so he put her in jail  
  
peyton: Poor Brooke  
  
Nathan: yup

**_Hey guys it's me Hanan I was gunna update more but I had to watch the new episode of Degrassi. Next chapter is funnier right Illona LOL spoiler - What is it? _**

**_- HANAN_**

__


	7. The Baby

**Chapter 7- The Baby  
**  
9 MONTHS LATER! Brooke is still in jail and Hailey is 9 months pregnant and Jake has been there for her the whole way, Peyton hates Jake and doesn't like Jenny anymore her amd Karen are now dating  
  
Hailey: AAHHHHH MY WATER BROKE JAKE COME QUICK!  
  
Jake: (running) call the hospital and I'll get the bags  
  
They rush to the hosptial  
  
Jake: quick she's in labor get a doctor  
  
Nurse: okay calm down and we'll move her to a room  
  
1 hour later  
  
Jake walks into Hailey's room  
  
Jake: In just a few hours we'll have our own little baby  
  
Hailey: yup if it's a girl we'll name her Ann and if it's a boy we'll name him Eric  
  
Jake: sounds great  
  
Hailey: where's Jenny?  
  
Jake: with my parents  
  
Hailey: Oh she is going to be so jealous of the new baby  
  
Jake: i know  
  
They start laughing  
  
2 hours later  
  
Jake: push Hailey push  
  
Hailey: I AM!!!!!!!  
  
doctor: here it comes (baby cries)  
  
doctor: And it's a ........... A HESHE!  
  
Hailey: what? what do you mean?  
  
doctor: well this baby has half a dick and half a pussy  
  
Jake: WHAT? how did that happen?  
  
doctor: I don't know I've never seen anything like it  
  
Hailey: Cool I guess we have a Heshe  
  
Jake: Yeah lets name IT Erica  
  
Hailey: Okay, doctor can we hold it?  
  
doctor: here (places baby in her arms)  
  
Hailey: Oh Jake it's beautiful, um excuse me but when will me and the baby be able to go home?  
  
doctor: NOW! I dont want that THING in my hospital  
  
Hailey: (upset) Fine we're leaving now  
  
They leave the hospital and go to Jake's house  
  
SUPRISE!!!!! (Lucas, Nathan, Jake's parents, and deb jump out from under a table)  
  
Hailey: OMG! ( drops erica) you guys scared me  
  
WELCOME HOME  
  
Hailey: OMG sorry Erica is your head okay?  
  
erica: WAAAAAAAAA  
  
Jake: Look Jenny this is you baby brother/sister it's name is Erica  
  
Jenny: Stupid baby (slaps erica)  
  
Jake: Jenny be nice to Erica it's 1 year and 7 months younger tahn you, you have to take care of it  
  
Jenny: I hate baby- sex with Peyon sex with Peyon!!!  
  
Jake: No baby don't say that! You cannot have sex with Peyton your only a baby, my baby  
  
Jenny: Peyon Peyon Peyon!  
  
Jake: no! Now come with me we'll watch Hailey feed erica  
  
Hailey take off her shirt and bra and puts Erica's mouth to her nipple and Erica begins to suck  
  
Hailey: Oh yeah this feels good baby harder harder  
  
Jake: Hailey please stop getting horny off of our baby  
  
Hailey : (cheecks turn red of embarresment ) Oh sorry  
  
Jake: awww it sucks so cute  
  
Jenny: me want Peyon bwest I want Peyon bwest  
  
Jake: no Jenny you can't have Peyton's breast  
  
Hailey: AHHHH YOU DUMBASS BABY  
  
Jake: Hailey what happened?  
  
Hailey: This thing sucked my nipple off, look ( shows Jake the nipple)  
  
Jake: Don't worry I'll glue it back on ( goes to get glue) here we go ( takes the nipple puts glue on it and sticks it back on boob) there better  
  
Hailey: Thanks Jake  
  
Jake: Your welcome  
  
Hailey: well i'm going home now and I'm taking Erica with me but you can come over after school tomorrow and help me with it  
  
Jake: Okay bye Erica (kisses it's forhead) bye Hailey (hugs her)  
  
Hailey goes home with Erica and they go into her bed  
  
Hailey: You can sleep on my bed tonight baby goodnight (kisses Erica's cheeck)

**_Hey I just have 1 more chapter left to post and then i need to think what will happen next - ILLONA HELP lol _**

**_- HANAN_**


	8. Daycare

**Chapter 8- Daycare  
**  
The next morning Hailey wakes up and feels something in her pants  
  
Hailey: Erica! what are you doing in my pants( erica is licking Hailey's pussy) het out of there - wait actually don't that feels good. Alittle to the left no the right .... Oh yea you've got it  
  
Erica: la la ga ga ma  
  
Hailey: Alright I've got to get ready for school get out now  
  
Pulls Erica out of her pants  
  
Hailey: you and Jenny are going to daycare today okay baby  
  
When they finish getting ready Hailey gets in her car and drives Erica to daycare and goes inside to sign it up- Hailey walks to the sign up desk  
  
women: hello welcome to "baby daycare" how may I help you?  
  
Hailey: I'm here to sign my baby up  
  
Hailey sees Jake and Jenny- Jake walks up to them  
  
Jake: come to sign it up?  
  
Hailey: yup  
  
Jake gives erica a kiss  
  
women: okay baby's name?  
  
Hailey: Erica  
  
women: age?  
  
Hailey: 1 and a half days  
  
women: alright and baby's sex?  
  
Hailey: Well it hasen't had sex yet! I mean unless you count this morning but that wasn't really sex  
  
women: no no no I mean sex as in gender  
  
Hailey: What does that mean?  
  
women: ( yelling) BOY OR GIRL IS YOUR UGLY BABY A FRIGGIN BOY OR GIRL!!!!!  
  
Hailey: OoOoOoOo Both  
  
women: WHAT?  
  
Hailey: yeah it's both  
  
women: AHHHH YOU PEOPLE DRIVE ME CRAZY! (She grabs a pen and stabs herself)  
  
Jake: Oh well just let Erica play baby dolls with Jenny  
  
Hailey: okay byebye Erica bye Jenny (kisses them both and drives to school)  
  
Hailey is sitting in Language Arts 2nd period when suddenly her phone rings  
  
teacher: Ms. James please turn off your cell phone!  
  
Hailey: Can I just anwer it's my baby's daycare  
  
teacher: Fine but make it quick  
  
Hailey: Thanks (answers phone) Hello  
  
man: Hello is this Hailey James?  
  
Hailey: Yes what happened to my IT?  
  
man: Nothing calm down I just called to inform you that your it and Henny have been very bad  
  
Hailey: What did they do?  
  
man: Well they stripped all of the baby dolls, then stripped eachother, then stripped 3 other girls that were playing with them. Then Jenny took erica and started humping it and then shouted " twesome tewsome" and Erica grabbed a doll and they all started sucking eachother  
  
Hailey: OMG I'm so sorry i'll come pick them up now!  
  
man: wait it's to late I threw them out  
  
Hailey: WHAT? WHERE?  
  
man: I don't know I just threw them out the window BYE!  
  
Hailey starts crying  
  
teacher: Hailey what's wrong?  
  
Hailey: My it is gone!  
  
teacher: that's nice now take your seat  
  
Hailey: I got to go ( she leaves)

**_Hey hoped you liked it and i'll try to think of what i should do next i have to speak with my idea bitch Illona LOL _**

**_-HANAN_**


	9. WE FOUND THEM!

Chapter 9- WE FOUND THEM!  
  
Hailey and Jake called the cops and told them what happened and the cops rushed over to the daycare center where Hailey and Jake were  
  
Cop: Alright miss what's the problem here?  
  
Hailey: This man who is in charge of the daycare center threw our babies out the window!  
  
Cop: So what's the problem?  
  
Hailey: OUR BABIES ARE GONE!  
  
Cop: Well go look for them, I really got to go masturbate I'm feeling horny  
  
Jake: Me too!  
  
Cop: Lets go!  
  
Hailey: Jake don't you care about Erica and Jenny? We have to find them!  
  
Jake: Yeah as soon as I'm done masturbating  
  
Hailey: That's it, if no one is going to help me find them I'll look for them myself!  
  
Hailey leaves the daycare and sets out on her adventure.... She starts looking in the woods when she sees some one peeing on a tree.....  
  
Hailey: Brooke? Why are you peeing in the woods?  
  
Brooke: I don't know.... Wanna see my pussy?  
  
Hailey: No thanks I have to look for Ercia and Jenny  
  
Brooke: OoOoOo can I help?  
  
Hailey: (a huge smile come across her face) OF COURSE THANKS SO MUCH BROOKE I LOVE YOU!  
  
Brooke: I love you too  
  
(Brooke jumps on Hailey and starts making out with her and starts ripping her clothes off)  
  
Hailey: AHHHHHHH BROOKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BITCH?  
  
Brooke: You said you love me  
  
Hailey: I'm sorry Brooke you took it the wrong way I meant I love you as a friend  
  
Brooke: oOoOo but I love you as my girl friend  
  
Hailey: I'M NOT YOUR GIRL FRIEND  
  
Brooke: Why not?  
  
Hailey: Because I'm not a lesbian!  
  
Brooke: I think I'm a lesbian, when ever I'm around Lucas I don't feel horny but when I'm around you or Peyton I just feel like fucking  
  
Hailey: Good for you, now excuse me while I go look for my IT  
  
Brooke: okay we will just be friends  
  
(They look more and start calling out for the babies when suddenly they hear.....)  
  
A Voice: O GOD HARDER! COME ON PUSH HARDER, OH YEAH KEEP GOING... AHHHHH CUM!  
  
Brooke: Holy shit what's going on over there? I wanna join them!  
  
(Hailey and Brooke walk over to where and they hear the voice and they see Lucas naked with the babies)  
  
Lucas: Oh God Hailey, Brooke this must look so wrong  
  
Hailey: Damn right it does Lucas ! That's it we can't be friends any more! Come on Erica and Jenny we are going to the hospital to make sure your okay from the fall  
  
Lucas: Look I'm sorry it's just that I was peeing in the woods and I saw them and I was sooooooo horny because I haven't got any in a long time (shoots Brooke a look)  
  
Hailey: Whatever Luke I have to go  
  
Brooke: Luke I haven't been putting out in a while because I am a lesbian!  
  
Lucas: SAY WHAT?  
  
Brooke: Yep and I am going to ask Peyton out on a date today  
  
Lucas: Peyton is dating my mom  
  
Brooke: Not when she sees me naked  
  
Lucas: that's true you are sexy naked  
  
Brooke: exactly, well I am going to the hospital with Hailey see ya later  
  
(Brooke and Hailey leave and Lucas throws him self on he floor and falls asleep)

_this chapter wasn't that great but I was just building up what happens next! Please please review and I'm open to any ideas  
  
thanks -othgrl_


	10. Toys 'R' Us

CHAPTER 9- Toy's 'R' Us

Brooke and Hailey are in the car with Erica and Jenny on their way to the hospital suddenly Brooke hits a bump while driving and Jenny's head falls off!

Hailey: AHHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT JENNY IS DEAD!

Brooke: OMG! Jake is going to kill you

Hailey: Okay lets not panic ummm we can...

Brooke: I GOT IT! When I was 7 my hamster died but my parents brought me another hamster that looked just like him and I never knew the difference until my parents told we when I was older.

Hailey: Okay but where are we going to find another Jenny?

Brooke: Toys 'R' Us!

Hailey: Brooke you are a genius!

(They drive to Toys 'r' us)

(Brooke is carrying Erica and Hailey is carrying Jenny's head and body)

Brooke: Wait before we go in let's throw Jenny out

Hailey: Oh yeah (she throws Jenny in the trash can)

(Thye go inside and rush to the doll isle, they frantically grab dolls off the shelves, a few minutes later Brooke comes up to Hailey with 3 dolls in her hands to show her what she found)

Brooke: Here these kinda look like Jenny

(Hailey looks at the dolls and rolls her eyes at Brooke, Hailey holds up the first doll)

Hailey: Okay Brooke Jenny's not black(holds up the second doll)Jenny is also not this small she is 8 months not 1! (Hailey holds up the last doll) and Jenny sure as hell isn't a boy!

Brooke: Sorry I forgot what she looks like.

Hailey: Whatever I found this dollshe sorta looks like Jenny (Hailey says as she holds up a medium sized girl doll with a pink dress on and short blonde hair)

Brooke: WOW Jenny was hot

Hailey: Here give me Erica and go pay for the doll

Brooke: Okay

(They pay for the doll and leave and go back to Brooke's car in the parking lot)

Brooke: (gets into the car) Now where?

Hailey: The hospital, Erica still needs to get checked.

Brooke: Okay (They go to the hospital)

LOL HOPE YOU LIKED IT!


	11. MY NOTE!

HEY EVERYONE I AM POSTING THIS TO TELL YOU ALL THAT MY CRAZY ASS STORIES ARE BACK! I PLAN ON CONTINUING THIS ONE AND ADDING NEW ONES MAYBE EVEN FOR DIFFERENT SHOWS CONTACT ME AT THE EMAIL PEACHIEKEEN56YAHOO IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS :)


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